TIANATDATPPC Part IV
← Part IIIPart IVPart V → Part IV of the Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at the PPC List, comprising entries 291-323. Originally posted to the PPC LJ Community, here, May 30, 2007. ---- 291. I will not dump Elrond onto the Disc. 292. Quark and Kadish must never be allowed to meet. 293. Mr. Pounder would be most unwelcome on Terramort. 294. I will not sow salt in the Flowers' soil. 295. I will not haze newbies by making them read all of "Celebrian." - Nor "Cho Chang's Desires." - Nor any fic from That Series. - In fact, atrocious badfics are not for hazing at all. 296. I will not threaten to assimilate another agent. - Nor will I act on that threat. 297. The hourglasses in Death's Domain are not toys. - Nor are the scythes. 298. I will not use Zeeky H. Bomb to threaten the Flowers. - Because everyone knows how that would turn out. 299. I will not attempt the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on a Ghostling. 300. I will not tease a Yuuzhan Vong agent's tools. - They bite. 301. I will not drop Rivendell onto Mon Calamari. - Nor will I allow Rivendell to be dropped onto Mon Calamari. - Or Coruscant. - For that matter, I will not allow Rivendell to be dropped anywhere other than its original site. 302. In fact, I will not allow any large buildings to be transported anywhere. - Even if it would be really funny. 303. When sharing an RC with two other agents, I will not attempt sabotage on their half of it by covering it, wall-to-wall, with pages from any of the Legendary Evils of the PPC. - Even if that agent has taken over your half of the RC with pictures of L and Matsuda. 304. I will never teach my mini to eat assignments. - For the Flowers will kill me dead. Or worse, send me to That Series. - Nor will I teach them to eat my sister's assignments. (Ha-ha, 402. Who's laughing now?!) 305. I will never attempt to clone a canon to help with paperwork. - Because I have seen the Anti-Lusting Films and will never again if I can help it. 306. I will not tell blonde jokes when any of the Vanyar are in earshot. 307. I will not give a Yuuzhan Vong a pair of Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots. 308. I will not put the 300 Spartans into Helm's Deep. 309. I will stop singing The Jay and Silent Bob Rap. 310. I will not wonder aloud whether Flowers mate in dark storerooms. 311. I will not attempt to find proof that Flowers mate in dark storerooms. 312. I will not make jokes about Spiderman being an emo. - Okay, maybe once or twice. 313. I will not nuke Mordor, unless I have arranged for a Mary Sue convention ahead of time. 314. At a wedding, I will not spike any beverage pertaining to the bride and groom with anti-Lustin. 315. I will not administer Bleep-anything to avian or ornithanthrope agents. - It wreaks havoc on their respiratory systems. 316. Mary Sues are not simply misunderstood. 317. I will not require the Animorphs to register as Animagi. 318. I will not spike a Human teetotaler's beverages with Romulan ale. - Nor a Vampire teetotaler's with blood. 319. I will not introduce Prince Orlofsky to Romulan ale. 320. I will not draw agents I dislike in compromising positions. - Nor will I Photoshop heads onto Truth or Dare games. 321. When Titus Andronicus is serving a meal to the Emperor, I will not yell "Soylent Green is people!" 322. I will not have Fleet Admiral Gardner sing "When I Was a Lad." 323. I will not attempt the Imperius Curse on anyone. - Especially not my LO. ← Part IIIPart IVPart V → TIANATDATPPC Part 04